Badly Packed Kebab

2007-12-20T15:22:00.001Z

Chorizo, halloumi and rice

Saltier than an anchovy's spunk.

Beef stroganoff with rigatoni

Braised lamb shanks, olives and pasta

Because I couldn't be arsed to make mash.

2007-12-05T16:10:00.000Z

Braised oxtail, cabbage, potato and celeriac mash

and the same thing...

...reformed as cottage pie.

2007-12-03T12:06:00.000Z

Fettucine with with ham and peas

A slightly out-of-focus picture due to earlier excessive consumption of the devil's dandruff.

2007-11-26T15:00:00.001Z

Venison sausages, mash, onion gravy

I'm pretty sure it didn't look this green when I ate it.

Rigatoni alla arrabiata with halloumi and olives

Deeply inauthentic. Another name for it would be "everything in the fridge with pasta".

2007-11-20T19:58:00.000Z

Szechuan braised tofu, steamed pak choi, noodles

Fuck off, I like tofu. And there's pork in there too.

Tuna lasagne

Fishy and a bit dry. Like your mother.

Vodka, lime and soda

The three major food groups in one glass.

Devilled mutton, aubergine curry

I'll regret this in the morning.

2007-11-16T10:08:00.001Z

Faggots, peas and mash

Insert joke here.

2007-11-14T14:57:00.001Z

Badly packed kebab

At last!

2007-11-13T11:22:00.000Z

I haven't been on hunger strike, I've just been eating leftovers. I made a fondue one weekend, but the photo was all blurry because I'd stayed up the previous night feeding my nose. The camera never lies.

Thai green chicken curry

Pizza with salami, capers, anchovies and olives

Fusilli bucati with bacon, courgettes and peas

2007-11-02T14:59:00.000Z

Linguine alla carbonara

I am aware that carbonara isn't usually made with mushrooms or squid ink pasta, but if it tastes good and pisses off the Italians then I'm all for it.

2007-11-01T10:39:00.000Z

Beef stroganoff

Look closely and you'll see flecks of parsley. Who says there's no green in my diet?

Beans on toast

Even gluttonous fucks are allowed a night off.

2007-10-30T20:51:00.001Z

Rigafuckintoni

Always with the pasta.

Herefordshire guinea fowl

As cooked by my mother. Probably the healthiest thing I've eaten thus far. Unfortunately I can't show you the roast beef we had the next night because I exhausted my battery taking pictures of owls.

2007-10-25T13:33:00.001+01:00

Chicken pie, chips and curry sauce

I was so pissed last night it's a miracle I could hold the camera still.

2007-10-24T12:16:00.000+01:00

Roast chicken, butternut squash risotto

According to all the cookbooks I own, it should take less than 20 minutes to cook a risotto. It takes me at least 45. That's why I don't make it very often. I've been eating too much Italian food recently, but there's so much leftover rice I'll have to make arancini. Not tonight though, I must heed the call of the chip shop...

2007-10-22T17:37:00.001+01:00

Lasagne

Not quite baked ziti, but close enough to make it perfect Sopranos fodder. And with this much butter in my diet I'll look like Tony in no time.

2007-10-21T13:01:00.001+01:00

Arroz con costra

"Rice with a crust" from the Spanish cookbook 1080 Recipes. Chicken, bacon, chorizo, black pudding, chickpeas and rice with eggs poured over, baked in the oven. As tasty as it sounds.

Wild mushroom tortellini with tomato sauce

A lazy chav dinner, although I suspect chavs would prefer a Kraft cheese slice to pecorino on top.

Fish and chips

The chips went into butties and my cats got most of the fish.

Boeuf bourguignon

With mustard mash. Fucking delicious.

Mutton kotthu and aubergine curry

From the Banana Leaf in Tooting. The beauty of this dish is that it looks the same coming out as going in.

Walnut and gorgonzola tortellini with truffle and olive pesto

Another lazy meal given a veneer of class with truffle pesto brought back from Italy.

Pepperoni and olive pizza

The olives have got anchovies inside them for extra salty loveliness.

Green mutton masala and chicken 65

At God's Own Curry House, the Radha Krishna Bhavan.